Mark Schultz

F*U*N

  • One-Act
  • Drama

Jamie's nervous. It's her first time working with legendary vérité fetish-porn auteur "Billy." She has some reservations. She has a condition. She has a niche. She's worried. Grady's a "Billy" veteran with the scars to prove it. He'll try to make her comfortable. He might be falling in love--and that might be a problem. Who knows what he'll be asked to do in the room at the end of the pitch black hall?

Play Sample Text

JAMIE
Yeah so anyway. Boyd is like. Billy’s a genius and blah blah blah and whatever. Like you. And this is a great opportunity. And he’s expanding into some really interesting areas. Like with like interesting scenarios and everything? With the news? And he requested me. Personally. And I’m like: that’s great that sounds great. And it’s a little more money and everything and I’m like: but Boyd he knows what I do, right? He’s not gonna. Like. Ask me to do anything. I don’t wanna do. And he just says: you’re gonna wanna do whatever he tells you. But that’s not like an answer or anything and I know that and I’m a little worried.
(beat)
Cause I’m really comfortable with Boyd.
(beat)
And I just. I hope. He knows. Billy knows. You know. My limits.
(beat)
And I’m nervous. About that. So I need to talk to him.

(Silence.)

GRADY
I mean what happens. Do you like freak out or whatever?

JAMIE
Kinda. I kinda freak out. Like a. Like a. Seizure? Sort of thing? And I black out. Eventually. And I go somewhere. Really. Not so good.

GRADY
Wow.

JAMIE
Yeah. Freaky right?

GRADY
That’s not so bad.

JAMIE
But it is. It is. It really is. Trust me.
(beat)
Like when I’m there? In that place? I get afraid I’ll never come back.

GRADY
Maybe you just haven’t had. Like. The right person.

JAMIE
It’s more than that. Trust me.

GRADY
Yeah but maybe I’m the right person. Is what I’m saying.

(Beat.)

JAMIE
I just need to talk to Billy.